TV can be so cathartic

Let's be honest - before I die, I want to live.

I was watching Desperate Housewives onDemand today since I missed it when it first aired due to hockey obligations. Edie died. I knew it was coming, but it still hit like a ton of bricks. Yes, I cried. I am a blubbering little cry baby when it comes to this sort of thing. Possibly because when someone I really know dies, I naturally shutdown, so I guess when someone completely fictional dies I can actually let go and bawl.

Either way, it just reminded me that I want to keep living it up. I'm finally starting to come out of my safety bubble. I'm finally connecting and reconnecting with people in my life outside of my little circle.

I've survived cancer and I just feel like I need to make good on the second chance I've got at living. You never know when your time is up - I just want to know I've done everything to make it worth it.

Mama bear tendancies

So let's be honest. 

I love my friends with an intense ferocity - I'm like a mama bear watching over her cubs. But obviously in the more emotional sense of protection. (Ha! Like I could be someone's physical protector!) Anyway, I become really defensive and angry when a friend asks for advice and then throws it back in my face and disappears. Makes sense right? I hate watching my friends walk into a disaster and knowing full well I can't do a damn thing to stop them.

For nearly two years, I've been missing one of my best friends. She was dating someone who just didn't quite work in my lifestyle. Cheaters and I just don't really get along and she decided to follow him and not her friends. (It wasn't only me who got left in the dust.) So, I guess they're finally done. I think. Either way, the thought of having my friend back is one of the most exciting things to happen to me recently. It's those little things that I really hope come back - like Pasta P. lunch dates, two ice teas and then some shopping. Her laugh. She was like a little sister and I really hope that love and friendship can come back to us soon.

But maybe I'm just being optimistic. Oh well, there's absolutely nothing wrong with that.

OH! I'll be back to talk all about LONDON and PARIS soon:)